I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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