I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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