I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
