if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
