Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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