I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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