Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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