I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize