She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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