he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
