dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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