You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
