We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
