Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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