i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we should paint friendship bongs
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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