i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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