Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
