I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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