One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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