Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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