did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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