More tranny stories later!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
