you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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