we're chasing vodka with high fives
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
