so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
