we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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