Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
