I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
