Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize