and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
