i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
