Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
