white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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