why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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