i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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