Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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