I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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