I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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