I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
