The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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