she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
