That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
