now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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