two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize