Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
