I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
