so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
