her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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