you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
