just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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