Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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