marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
