i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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