Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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