Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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