Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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