Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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