thus making me awesome and them whores
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
