How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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