Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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