So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
