Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
